


Cody the Baby Holder

by ihadeatenhername



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-16 22:44:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20610599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ihadeatenhername/pseuds/ihadeatenhername
Summary: Cody holds a baby and has thoughts and concerns about whether or not he wants to hold a baby of his own someday.





	Cody the Baby Holder

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys. This one might be a reach for some people but I had fun writing it so I hope you enjoy reading it. 
> 
> As usual, don't show this to them.
> 
> And also, this was inspired by and is a gift to my lovely friend paranormalbouquet / @tacotuesdaygirl / Meghan. Love you, girl. <3

Today was the day: Cody and Kelsey were finally going to meet Noel and Aleena's baby. They were both excited and happy for their friends, and had been looking forward to this day for a while now. They'd watched and shared in the ups and downs of the pregnancy as much as any close friends could. Cody found himself having lots of long conversations about everything with Noel; about fatherhood, about family, about balancing work with life. There were so many thoughts and feelings that Cody had accumulated from these conversations—some of which he'd gotten up the courage to share with Kelsey, but not all. As he drove into the parking garage of Noel's apartment complex, a thread of guilt started weaving through his throat, as he considered how he and Kelsey talked about so much, but that they really needed to talk more.

After cutting the ignition and putting on the parking brake, Cody looked over at Kelsey, who was adjusting her hair into a messy ponytail. He loved watching her do simple things like that. "I'm so excited," Kelsey said as they both got out of the car and he met her on the other side. She grabbed his hand, "She's so cute in all the pictures."

"I know," Cody said, doing his best impression of normal, a thousand unsaid things swirling around his mind.

Kelsey noticed something was off immediately—why he still continued to try and hide from her she didn't know; she caught him every single time—and squeezed his hand with both of hers, looking up and making them stand still.

"You okay?" She asked, eyes surveying his face as he debated between lying or giving in.

"I'm just... I'm scared I'm gonna do the wrong thing." He pouted in a way that was supposed to be silly and Kelsey laughed, licking the protruding lip with her tongue before pressing her lips gently to his for a short kiss.

"Just don't shake or drop her. You'll be fine."

Cody raised his eyebrows, nodding.

"I'll be right there," she reminded him, pulling him back into forward motion alongside her.

Soon enough they were right at the front door. Kelsey pushed on the buzzer and they waited, hearing Noel call out to them from inside. When he opened the door, the baby was there, in his arms.

"Ey, look! It's your aunt and uncle!" Noel said, looking into the baby girl’s face and then back out to his friends. The baby's big brown eyes roamed curiously from Cody to Kelsey to other unknown things off in the distance.

"Hi!" Kelsey greeted, reaching out and gently brushing the baby's cheek with the back of her finger.

"So this is Ollie Number Two," Noel said while looking down at the girl, and Cody laughed, happy to be around Noel's humor again. A part of him had worried that something might change in Noel after the baby was born, an irrational and selfish fear on his part, Cody knew; but Noel was clearly very much the same, if only with a new gleam of softness in his eyes when he looked at his daughter. _Daughter. I could have a daughter some day. Or a son. I could be a dad. Do I want to be a dad? Why would I not want to be a dad?_ Cody wanted to mute his thoughts.

"Come on in," Noel motioned with a tilt of his head, stepping aside. Kelsey and Cody entered the familiar apartment. Everything was the same at first glance, but evidence of new parenthood was everywhere: recently opened packaging for different necessities; dirty dishes in the sink; a general clutter that Aleena was in the midst of attempting to tidy up as the three of them came into the living room.

"Noel, you were supposed to keep them in the kitchen," Aleena commented in a mildly exasperated voice. "Sorry about the mess, guys," she said, looking up at Kelsey and Cody apologetically.

"No worries," they replied at the same time, making them look at each other and laugh. Then just Kelsey, "We're so happy for you two."

Aleena nodded, her face tired. "Thanks," she said. "We're happy too." Noel went to stand next to her and leant over to kiss her on the temple.

"I thought _I_ was needy," Noel said, walking over and sitting down on the couch, still holding the baby against him. "This one takes the whole fucking cake." Noel leaned down and kissed the baby on top of her dark hair, of which there was a decent amount. "Yes you do," he said in a sweet voice.

Aleena took the recliner, Kelsey sat on the couch next to Noel, and Cody on her other side.

"Charlotte," Kelsey said, her expressive eyes and wide smile fixed on the little face staring back. "That's such a pretty name." The baby shyly turned her head the other way, pushing her face into Noel's chest.

"Shy now, huh?" Noel asked softly downwards. Then, looking up at Aleena. "I made her choose the name. I think she did alright."

"Yeah. That was a lot of pressure on me. Still not really okay with that."

"I trusted you, and you came through," Noel countered in a loving voice.

Aleena rolled her eyes but her lips were smiling, "We also call her 'Baby'—"

"—or Red, 'cuz of how red she was when she came out. Like a goddamn...tomato with a face."

Cody looked over and saw that Charlotte had turned back to look towards their direction, now staring at him with her big brown eyes. He smiled, raising his hand in a little wave; the baby hid her face in Noel's chest again.

"I don't think she likes me," Cody said, hearing mild concern in his voice and trying to laugh it away. Kelsey squeezed his thigh comfortingly.

"Don't be silly," she said.

"Yeah, she's just doin' the whole hard to get thing," Noel affirmed. “She'll warm up to you, though. Don't stress."

"Let him hold her," Aleena suggested, Cody meeting her kind eyes with thankful uncertainty.

"Okay," Noel said, gently lifting the baby up and handing her to Kelsey, who handed her to Cody.

"Baby train," Kelsey joked and laughed.

"Hi," Cody said, once he had Charlotte in both hands, staring at her dark brown eyes, eyes which had already found her dad again. He carefully rested her into the crook of his arm, holding her like a football. She started squirming, clearly trying to get back to her dad. Noel reached out and picked up her hand between two fingers, distracting her as Cody adjusted her body posture to comfortably support her against him.

"That's your uncle Cody," Noel said to his baby girl. "Talk to her," he coached Cody.

"Hi," Cody started, and the baby turned her face and gaze up as he went on, "I'm your uncle Cody," he couldn't help but laugh a little at the sound of the words. "You're very cute," he added, nodding and holding the baby's now laser-steady gaze. She was wearing a little gray onesie with light pink polka dots. Her little feet were bare and Cody marveled at the ridiculous smallness of her toes, her toenails. "She's so fucking small," he murmured, and then looked up to apologize for cursing but saw no one was offended. Kelsey felt her whole face warm with her smile, having a hard time holding in the pure love that filled her in that moment. He looked so right, holding a baby like that.

"Look at that. Already a pro." Noel reached behind Kelsey across the back of the couch and patted Cody supportively on the shoulder. Cody was so focused on looking at the baby and feeling her little body moving and breathing and living against him that when he realized Kelsey was pointing a camera at him it was too late.

"Yes," Kelsey said approvingly, looking at the image she’d captured on her phone screen. "Cody the baby holder."

"Cody looking very dad," Aleena agreed. Cody managed a light laugh, but on the inside a feather of insecurity danced through him.

"You want a turn?" Cody asked Kelsey, who nodded and smiled while biting her bottom lip.

Cody handed the little human over and watched Kelsey effortlessly take hold of her and fit her against her body, within her arms. He couldn't think to process the words she was saying in her sweet baby voice, but he felt utterly enamored with the affection and light that shimmered throughout her whole face.

"Damn," Noel interrupted, making Cody look up, "I think they deserve our baby more than we do. Look how fucking parental they look."

They all four laughed and Kelsey handed Charlotte back to Noel, who sniffed the air and decided it was time for a change.

"Be right back. Gotta change my diaper," Noel said, slapping his own ass as he left the room, Cody rolling his eyes and smiling as his friend disappeared into a room down the hall.

The three of them—Cody, Kelsey, and Aleena—chatted about various things. But Cody, underneath the surface, was a river rushing of increasingly louder thoughts. He felt relieved to have made it through the interaction with Charlotte, but now all he could do was remember the word Noel had used to describe how he and Kelsey looked with the baby: _parental._

***

Eight hours later and he and Kelsey were in bed. She was doing something on her phone and he was finishing up some work on his computer.

“Everyone loves the dad look on you,” Kelsey said, showing Cody her phone screen, and how the picture of him with Charlotte was receiving a lot of attention. He scanned the comments he could see and they were all variations of the same few things: _Now Cody and Kelsey need to have a baby! Cody needs to be a dad! Kelsey would be such a good mom!_

He smiled, nodding, trying to stomach all the feelings inside of him. Kelsey pretended she didn’t sense something was off at first, but then plugged her phone in and reached out to gently close his laptop for him. Unlike most times she tried that move, he didn’t protest. He didn’t move except to look her in the eyes.

“What?” he asked, hearing himself sound defensive.

Kelsey just stared, as astute with him as ever. He sighed, settling down into the covers beside her, their heads turned towards each other.

“You can tell me anything,” Kelsey said softly leaning her nose forward to nudge his with it.

“I know,” Cody said, which was the truth. He realized he needed her to be closer, readjusting himself and the covers so that he was resting on her chest, her arms wrapped around him.

_Why do I feel like crying?_

His throat felt thick but he pushed himself to speak. “When I saw her, when I held her, Kels, all I could think about was us. All I could think was, ‘I love you, I want to always love you. Always. And… and we’ve talked about kids, but it’s always been this abstract thing, far away from us. I saw Noel in her eyes, her little baby eyes, her face—I could see Noel in there. And if we have a baby, it’s going to be… our baby. We would be parents. That’s fucking scary. I'm scared.” It was on the last admission that his voice broke, and he finally let himself start to cry. She pulled him tighter against her, her heart breaking with understanding and love.

“Oh baby, I know,” she said to him, feeling his warm tears start to soak through the fabric of her pajama shirt. “I know.”

Cody sniffed. “There’s just all these questions going through my mind…and I’m ashamed I don’t know the answers.”

“What questions are they?”

Cody’s throat got tight, but he wanted, needed, to speak now. “Do I want to be a dad? What if I’m bad at it? What if I don’t have kids and then get too old and regret it? What does Kelsey want? Why don’t I think about her more? Why am I so selfish? Why am I so fucking stupid when it comes to all this?”

Kelsey took a few moments, processing what the man she loved more than anything had just said. After a while, she spoke: “I don’t have the answers to your questions, but I know a few things are true: We will find our plan, our path, and we don’t need to worry about what other people are doing in order to do what’s right for us; you are who I want to spend the my life with. No matter what. I love you.” She paused feeling his body calming against hers, feeling how he tightened his arms around her as she expressed how she felt. “And… I don’t know when, but I would like to have a kid someday.”

Cody shifted so he could see her eyes again. “With me?” he asked, and Kelsey nearly laughed at the way he sounded so uncertain of what her answer would be.

“Yes, Cody. With you.”

He swallowed, a mixture of relief, happiness, and renewed anxiety soaring through his whole being.

“You think I’ll be an okay dad?” he murmured.

She grabbed his face on the one side. “I think you’ll be a great dad.”

Cody couldn’t help but revel in the feeling her words gave him.

“I think that maybe, though, we should start with a dog,” Kelsey nodded a little and Cody grinned before feigning his previous sadness, “what if I’m a bad dog dad?”

They both laughed then, falling into an amazing kiss, bodies rolling into and entwining with each other.

Kelsey’s eyes widened and grin deepened when she felt what she hadn’t before. “Wow, is that you saying you want me to start calling you daddy, now?” Kelsey moved her hips to feel his erection against her clit through his cotton sleep shorts.

“Fuck,” he said, twisted their legs together and wrapping his arms around her waist to press her harder against him. “Maybe.”

“Put a baby in me, daddy,” she whispered overly sexily in his ear, and he reacted by pulling away somewhat, shaking his head, making her laugh but change her tactic, adding in the same voice, “at some point in the future.”

Cody turned back to look at her, rejoining their lips and trying to express his indescribable gratitude in every movement of his lips and tongue, every way he altered the position of his body to better fit it against hers.

“I love you so much,” he said, breaking away and kissing her throat, breathing heavily.

“I love you too,” Kelsey said. They threw off the cover to undress. When he pushed all the way inside her, they both had to stop. It felt like their bodies were one body, one heartbeat, one chaos of hormones and love.

***

It’s a Saturday. Perfect Venice weather. Cody feels strangely at home, getting things ready, hosting a get together for his close friends.

Noel and Aleena are the first to arrive. Three-year-old Charlotte is being watched by a babysitter, they explain, as they are greeted by Cody in the foyer.

“Very nice, dude,” Noel says as he inspects his best friend's whole outfit before leaning in and taking a close look at the baby girl, asleep in the harness that’s fixed around Cody’s chest and waist. “She sleeping through the night yet?” Noel asks while Aleena leans in to get her own close-up view.

“Yeah, thank God,” Cody responds, reaching up to rub the side of his neck.

“I need me a baby holster,” Noel says, making Cody laugh and Aleena smile.

Then Kelsey comes in from the kitchen and gives Noel and Aleena each each a hug. Aleena compliments her on the house and the two of them take themselves by virtue of conversation outside to the back patio.

Noel uses the moment alone with Cody to be heartfelt. “I’m really happy for you, man. I remember us talking when Charlotte was a baby. You didn’t know what you wanted. Now look at you. Makin' me want to be carried around in a harness like little miss Zoe here.”

Cody cannot help but smile with deeply felt love for his friend. “I really appreciate that. Uncle Noel.”

They both laugh but then remember to stay quiet, seeing as that although she wasn’t woken up, Zoe has started to move some in her sleep.

“I’m curating dad jokes,” Cody says, and Noel shakes his head in mock disappointment, making Cody snort. They talk a little more, grabbing beers from the fridge and drinking them as they go outside and join Aleena and Kelsey. It is everything Cody ever wanted and more.


End file.
